The Six Rules of Christmas by Penelope Janu

The Six Rules of Christmas by Penelope Janu

Author:Penelope Janu
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Mira
Published: 2020-09-24T00:00:00+00:00


‘Ariella,’ Jack says, ‘there’s something I should tell you.’

He’s sitting opposite me at the table and Ginny is sitting next to him. There are two baking dishes between us. One holds the spatchcock, overly brown on the top and ghostly white on the bottom. The other dish is smaller, filled with roast vegetables.

‘My vegetables look like pebbles in a bog, don’t they? I shouldn’t have poured the gravy over them.’

He flashes perfect white teeth. ‘No, it’s something else.’

‘Is this a guessing game?’ Ginny says. ‘My turn. You’ve never eaten two-tone baby chickens before?’

‘They’re not babies!’ I say. ‘They’re just small. They’re meant to be like that.’

Ginny takes a napkin and picks up the dish, tipping it on an angle so the juices, a suspicious shade of pink, run into the corner.

‘They’re not cooked through,’ she says.

‘Can you get salmonella poisoning from spatchcock?’

‘Sure can,’ she says, taking the dish to the kitchen bench. ‘But the vegetables are okay, they’re cooked to a crisp.’ When she stabs one with a fork, Jack puts his hand out.

‘Were the vegetables roasted with the spatchcock?’ he says. ‘If they’re out of the same pan it might not be safe to—’

‘All right!’ I take a deep breath. ‘I’ll get rid of them too.’ I pick up the dish with unsteady hands and take it to the kitchen, spilling gravy down my front when I put it on the bench. I wipe my shirt with my napkin as I sit at the table again. ‘We’ll have a healthy salad dinner instead.’

Ginny smiles encouragingly as she passes the potato salad to Jack. ‘This is perfectly safe. Mum grew and cooked the potatoes, and Dad smoked the bacon.’

He opens his mouth and shuts it again. He passes it back to Ginny. ‘I can’t eat it.’

‘Why not?’

He pulls his own salad towards his plate, carefully scooping out leaves, tomato and feta. ‘I’m a vegetarian.’

When Ginny chokes, he thumps her back, then tops up her water and hands it to her. She splutters and coughs.

‘Can you repeat that, please,’ I say.

‘It’s not usually a problem. I eat fish sometimes and—’

‘I don’t have any fish!’

Ginny grimaces. ‘I guess the vegetables were ruled out by the gravy as well as the salmonella.’

Jack concentrates hard on chewing a sliver of carrot. ‘I’m not that hungry.’

‘Why not?’ I slam my knife and fork on my plate. ‘Did the lettuce leaf you had for lunch fill you up? How many horses did you shoe today?’

‘Just a few. I was out at Mandy Flanagan’s place.’

‘Trimming her five million Welsh mountain ponies?’

He shrugs.

Ginny scoops up leaves from Jack’s salad bowl. She selects a piece of cucumber and rummages for more. I pull the bowl away and return it to Jack.

‘Leave it for him if that’s all he eats.’

He puts down his fork. ‘I’m sorry, Ariella.’

‘How do you look like …’ I wave my hand around. How does he maintain his physique? Is that what I’m asking? ‘Why didn’t you tell me?’

‘You said you were going to cook macaroni cheese.



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